Clarity
by LakhesisdiAngelo
Summary: There were two things in life I was certain: Staying out of trouble and keeping to myself. I never expected my life to change drastically when I met Marco. I'm falling for him, and I'm afraid I can't stop. An alternate universe hospital chronicling the tumultuous relationship between Jean Kirstein and Marco Bott. The majority of the story is told from Jean's point of view.


_**Alright guys! So this is a story from someone I'm dating, their name is TasteyWatermelonandJean25 from AO3, he's letting me do this, so no fussing at me~ **_

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It's amazing how easily people can change their mind in a split second. How you could have your whole day planned out and one incident, just one little incident could change the whole course of your day. Or maybe not just your day, maybe your weekly plans..Or the future down the road for months..maybe even years. Or maybe I'm just exaggerating. I never believed in that stuff anyway. The way I saw it, as long as you kept your head out of your ass and stuck to the big picture, you should be fine. Don't get me wrong, I don't mind surprises every now and then, but what I can't stand is when you finally get a day off from work and your obnoxious friend drags you to a psychic. A PSYCHIC. Can you get any more ridiculous?

Here's what happened. After my hospital shift ended on Friday, I thought 'Oh Boy! I can sleep in tomorrow!' So I clocked out, bid my good byes to my friends, except Eren, and brought my tired ass home. Then 6 a.m. in the morning, 6 a.m. in the fucking morning, Reiner calls me all psyched, talking a million miles a minute about a psychic and how we have to go immediately. I swear the man was drunk, it would only be logical. I know his rituals, all of them. We've been friends since high school and he's in this long term relationship with this other guy named Bertholdt. Bertholdt's a little taller than Reiner and has almost a completely different personality. Anyway, the two of them are always having sex, especially on Friday nights. And with sex also came along the liquor and Reiner's impulsive stupidity.

6 a.m.

_RING. RING._

"What the hell..." I muttered. Glancing at the clock on my iPhone I saw that Reiner was calling me. "It's six a.m. dammit, let me sleep..." I ended the call.

_RING. RING. _"Ha..nice try." I turned my cell phone off this time and in my irritability, threw the damn thing under my bed. 'He's with Bertholdt, I know he is. Can't he bother him instead? I'm too tired for this shit.' I thought, growing more irrational by the second.

_RIIINNG. RIIINNNGGG._

'Oh hell no. You can't be kidding me. He's calling the goddamn house phone now? Eh..just ignore it, and go back to sleep.'

_RIIINNNG. RII-_ _Hi. If you've gotten this message, I'm probably not at the house right now. Leave a message and call me back later. Bye._

I listened to the sound of my answering machine and pulled the blankets over my head. Glancing at the clock I saw the time again, this time it said 6:30. That blond idiot has kept me up for a half hour now. I laid in my bed trying to sleep as the phone rang relentlessly for another half hour. Losing my patience, I decided to answer the phone just to shut him up.

"This better be fucking important I sw-"

"LOOK YOU GOTTA LISTEN TO ME."

"It's 6 a.m. in the morning and I would like to sleep in on my only day off."

"I KNOW BUT JUST HEAR ME OUT."

"STOP SHOUTING INTO THE PHONE."

"Okay, okay fine. Look I found out something really cool. There's a psychic-"

That's when I hung up the phone. Only Reiner would want to try something very over the top. Of course I heard Bertholdt breathing into the phone like an elephant. He seemed just as irritated as I was over Reiner's shenanigans. Don't get me wrong, Bertholdt's a nice guy and all, but in all honesty, he creeps me out sometimes. Especially since he's so freaking tall, and he just stands there staring down at you unblinking. If there's one thing about Reiner, he's relentless. Relentless Reiner. Fits him well, especially considering his job as a paramedic. I always see him driving the ambulance around the city, working nonstop. For a big guy, he has the energy of a toddler. One minute he's carrying someone around like a sac of potatoes, another minute he's lifting a table so someone else can get by. You'd think he's iron man for crying out loud. I have no idea why the hell I'm rambling about Reiner's personality at the moment.

The phone still kept ringing though.

"Just listen to me!"

"Fine, fine you win. What do you want."

"We should go see a psychic tomorrow. I'll pick you up if you want. Does 9 a.m. sound good?"

"Hey! I didn't agree to this! All I did was answer the p-"

"Great see you then! Go back to sleep, you'll need it."

Well, shit. I huffed myself and fell back asleep. Nothing I can do now. Once Reiner sets his mind to something, he doesn't give up. His perseverance is almost as bad as Eren's. It's no wonder the two of them get along so well. Why couldn't Reiner bother him? I could give a shit about some loony psychic telling me things that I already know. No use complaining, I reasoned, as I fell back asleep dreading what Reiner had in store for me.

There's no point going into grand detail about how Reiner really bugged the shit out of me next morning. The crazy man nearly broke down my door just as I'm all dressed ready to go. Whoever this psychic is, she better be worth it. Reiner drove me there, talking intensely about this woman, telling me her name, how she recently opened her shop, and what a remarkable healing strength she possessed. A load of shit if you ask me. I know, I sound like a depressive whiny person, but really I'm not. Well I hope I'm not at least. I'm just sticking to reality, that's all I swear.

9:30 a.m.

Another thing I should mention about Reiner is that thanks to his job, he knows the whole city like the back of his hand. We drove downtown to this strange area I've never been to. It's not rundown and overrun with violence and poverty, but it was downright trippy. You'd think you were living in the hippy era again. You see all of these people walking around with dyed hair and groups of people doing strange dances on the sidewalk. Well, if Reiner knew how to get to this crazy area, it definitely made sense why I thought he was half mad sometimes. Looking around, I noticed a lot of strange patterns and a store decked out with colors. I thought a kaleidoscope threw up all over it, the colors nearly blinded me.

"Okay. Let's get this over with. I have better things to do."

"Because staying home alone all depressed is a better thing to do."

"I'm not that depressed, and today is my ONLY day off! Where is this place anyway?"

"What do you mean? You're looking at it!"

_Oh hell no. _It had to be the trippy kaleidoscope place with the blinding colors. "I'm not going in there. No fucking way. I'm walking my tired ass back home." I reasoned, slowly walking backwards away from Reiner. Reiner sputtered, stupidity shown all over his face. He uncomfortably ran his fingers through his short blond hair and retorted something very unhelpful. "Give it a chance! Discover something new! Become one with your inner chakras!" He had his arm around me now, and I angrily pushed it off me. "You owe me big time." I huffed, reason taking over considering I had no idea how I would be able to get home on my own.

The first thing that killed me was the smell. The scent of perfume was so strong, I nearly fell into a coughing fit. 'Maybe I can feign an allergic reaction.' A sudden beam of hope sprouted from within. But then I realized that one, Reiner would be able to see right through the facade, and two, he's a paramedic. He can tell when someone is seriously having an allergic reaction.

I also noticed the colorful Moroccan styled architecture. Beads dangling everywhere, yellow and red printed carpet, and of course the huge pillows. What the psychic needed to do is instead of spending money on beaded pillows, she needed to pay the electricity bill. The lighting sucked. You couldn't see a damn thing.

"This isn't the main room. You're in the lobby."

I jumped up and noticed the shadow of a woman standing in the door way. She was neither old nor young in appearance. She certainly didn't match the stereotype of the loony psychic either despite the shop's er eclectic design. Her clothing was nonconformist, as I expected, but she held this strange inner beauty. It wasn't particularly her facial features, but there was this strange charisma all around her. She stood at 5 ft 7 with shoulder length, silky black hair. Her hair was in layers and parted on the side as it gently shaped her delicate frame. I surmised the woman before me was of Indian descent as she smiled giving me her hand to shake.

"My name is Krima. Welcome to my shop, newcomer. I see our mutual friend Reiner is very insightful about you." Chills went down my spine as she continued. "Do not fret, he tells me only positive things about you. But what he told me is very little. I instructed him to only tell me your occupation and your age. The rest I can see for myself. Now follow me so we can have a nice long chat." I shot Reiner the coldest glare I could muster as I followed Krima into the other room. Reiner merely smiled and stayed put in the lobby.

This room was different. Not in the crazy colors or smell, but the lighting itself made a difference. This time, everything was brightly lit. The light itself was the only difference, and it was a great improvement. "The lighting has quite an effect on you. Your eyes have brightened up because you can see everything. I overheard your entering into my shop and your colorful tones of displeasure. You made it obvious when I overheard you saying _What the hell Reiner, I can't see a damn thing._"

An embarrassed blush started to spread all over my face as she continued. "You are sorry, I can tell by the shock in your eyes. No need to tell me, I can tell your apology is genuine despite your short temper. Now back to light. Light is the source of energy that powers life itself. It helps the plants photosynthesize and can be used to operate heavy machinery. But light is more than that, in a spiritual sense light is the source of who you are. By your dumbstruck expression I'm not making any sense to you. Light is the basis of energy and spirituality for every person. And everyone is different, this means of course, that the light and central being of every person on this planet is powerful. You're probably more familiar with the term 'He/She/They has finally seen the light.' But like all energy, it is easily transformed despite its inability to be created or destroyed. That's the same with us beings on Earth. Often, we affect each other every single day, hour, and even minutes. Our emotions bounce off of each other constantly. Ever notice how one person in a group of people can say one comment, and next thing you know, everyone's unhappy?"

I nodded my head, suddenly feeling transfixed by Krima's words. I had no idea what the hell she was talking about, but I could already tell that she was perceptive enough to see right through me. I've always been told my whole life that my face is easy to read and that I'm too blunt for my own good. But it was more than that. The woman before me had the ability to understand the essence of my being within only a few minutes. Oh great, now I'M starting to get all trippy. Krima kept talking though, but now she demanded my input.

"State your name."

"Jean. Jean Kirschtein, ma'am."

"No need for formalities, I have already introduced myself as Krima. We are friends now and I can tell you're not a bad person. Just hurt very deeply."

"Ah...I see umm.. okay."

"Your sudden indecisiveness has proven that you are now willing to listen to my advice, with an open mind. Even if you think I'm not making any sense."

Jesus Christ, this woman's a witch. She's a freaking mind reader. Well, duh, she is a psychic. I'm afraid to hear anymore of what Krima had to say. I don't know why, but a sudden fear came over me. The fact she had the unnatural ability to understand me so well scared the crap out of me. What I needed was to politely say my good byes, kick Reiner's ass for making me do this, and get home ASAP. But I couldn't. Not now when she stared at me with this penetrating gaze.

"People like you crave the light. They crave the light because light, in literal terms, defines everything. Makes things sharp and clear. I feel that's how you look at several aspects of your life. You even feel comfortable in being able to understand the images around you instantly. That was made very clear to me when your eyes brightened up upon entering this room. I would not be surprised at all, if you told me that people think you're blunt. You model your being around understanding life around you. You hate abstract things. I think you're very black and white about things. Good is good and bad is bad. Especially when it comes to those around you, prompting you to say what you think constantly. In your mind, you think you're doing society a favor. Some people are naturally like that, and some are like that because of pain they feel deep inside. What you crave is clarity. Clarity according to people like you who abuse the internet, is when something is precise and makes sense. That is true, but clarity can be a goal. You've made it apparent that what ever happened to you left you feeling scared and confused. So you seek clarity every single day through your blunt demeanor and harsh attitude. You are not a bad person Jean, in fact you're a very sweet and sensitive man. But you live your life in fear."

That's it. I've had it. I'm leaving right now. I went to stand up when Krima gently placed her hand on my hand. "Wait, just let me tell you one last thing. Please." I sat down and listened. "I'm going to assume you know about the horoscope. Are you an Earth or Fire sign?" I said no to the Earth sign, telling her that my birthday was April 7th, and that I'm an Aries. She nodded and continued to talk to me.

"I think you possess both attributes of Aries and Taurus. For today, let me continue about Earth signs since you already know a lot about the Aries. We can discuss the Aries horoscope at another time. Like those of the Earth sign, you like stability, and having your ducks lined in order. Jean, you are indeed like Earth because that's how you live your life. It branches from who you are. You're strong and persevering. Your occupation tells me that alone. You deal with a very stressful career on a daily basis. But even the strong have their weak moments. Even the strong have their moments of fear, sadness, and times they need to cry. I believe that what you need is someone who can do that for you. You've spent your whole life trying to toughen up that you forgot how to address your emotional stability. You need someone who can love you for who you are. Everybody needs love, Jean, never forget that. You need someone, who can be there to lift you up when you're down. Someone who knows how to make you smile genuinely when you're upset. That someone is the key to your quest for clarity as you strive to find your inner peace. That someone is the sky. You are the Earth and they are the sky."

I don't remember what happened next, I just recalled a blur of several events that took place. I recall shakily thanking Krima and leaving with Reiner. I remember us driving home with me shouting at him to never make me do such an idiotic thing again. The rest of my day was calm and normal. I drove around, got into the usual argument with my mother over the phone, and watched T.V. The whole time, I kept Krima's business card in my pants pocket. Something told me I would see her soon again.

I showed up at work the next day to look at the schedule. I saw Eren Yeager standing there, looking at the list up and down in deep speculation. It irritated the hell out of me.

"Hi, Jean."

"What do you want?"

"So, tell me why you're on Levi's shit list again."

"No, that's you. You're the one who always pisses him off, Jaeger. Not me."

"Tch. Shut up. You're just jealous that I'm a better surgeon than you are."

Eren walked off cackling, and I watched the back of his head, hating the bastard more and more every day. I noticed a new patient id number listed under my name. When I matched it with my new grey chart, I read the person's name in my mind.

Marco Bott, age 27.


End file.
